Step-Parent Tribute

There are very few men that earn my respect. My dad is one of them. My step-dad, even though he was a complete asshole and abusive, had my respect for a short period. He still does to an extent, because I know what he can do. Maybe that is fear… Idk. The third male that has gained my respect is my fiancé, Glenn. He will be 23 March 1, 2014. How many men do you know in their 30's and 40's that would willingly step up and care for another man’s child? What about in their late 20's? He is not even 23 and yet he has willingly stepped up to raise a child that is not his. To me, any man that is willing to step up and raise a child that is not their own, deserves respect. Any woman that would do the same also deserves respect. There are many children in today’s society that are the way they are because of a step-parent’s influence. Instead of running the streets, getting in trouble, rebelling against a single parent, the kids are making something of themselves. They aren't stuck in daycare day in and day out so their parent can work. They learn what a loving home is like. I am not saying that every blended family is happy and loving. We all know that there are horror stories out there. Cinderella comes to mind… I don’t care if that is a fairy tale, it illustrates the point. And I am not in any way saying that single parents cannot raise their children successfully on their own! I am merely saying that stepparents play an important role and are deserving of respect. When the biological parent walks out, the stepparent steps up and takes on those responsibilities that technically aren't theirs.

The stepparent for my children is my fiancé. He willingly stepped up to take care of me and my unborn child when my now ex-husband abandoned us. He continues to this day to raise that baby boy as his own. And his biological donor still continues to this day to have absolutely nothing to do with him. Glenn claims that baby as his son. His family claims that baby as his son. As far as my daughter and I are concerned, he is Glenn’s son. I thank the Lord every day for bringing Glenn into our lives when he did. Very few younger men want to be with a woman with one child, let alone two children. And even less want to get into a long-term relationship with a pregnant woman. He did both. He loves my daughter as his own, even though her daddy is very much in her life. He just acts as a secondary dad for her for those times when her dad is not around. He helps me to be a better mother to her. He is amazing with our son in every way. And I know that he would put his life on the line for either one of our kids.

Glenn isn't the first personal experience I have had with step-dads though. My dad is technically my step-dad. He stepped in and adopted me after my biological donor signed away his parental rights. And that man is the best dad that a girl could ask for. He opened up so many doors that would have stayed closed if he hadn't entered my life. He did so many things for me that he didn't have to. I know that I am a better person for having him in my life.

My step-dad, the one that came after my dad, was a complete asshole. He was mentally, emotionally and verbally abusive. So I guess I can say that Cinderella isn't the only evil stepparent story I can think of. He was ex-military and expected everyone to perform to his standards. When we failed to meet his standards, he started in with the name calling, degrading us, etc. He was harder on me than anyone else had ever been. And even though he was an abusive prick, I still hear his voice in the back of my head. Maybe not daily anymore, but I definitely still hear it enough to matter. Even though he’s no longer physically in our lives, he will always be in my head. He had a big hand in making me into the woman I am today. He held me to higher standards than anyone else. And now I hold myself to high standards as well. Sometimes that is a bad thing. Like when I freak out about not getting a 100% in a college class, or not bowling a perfect game (Monday night bowling league was his thing and he drilled bowling techniques into my youngest stepsister, my mom and me.) or when I get upset with myself for making silly mistakes. But I still know that he had a big part in making me into the woman that I am today and that if it hadn't been for him, I would have gone a very different path.

I just want to say a big thank you to all the stepparents out there. As a stepchild, I want to let you know that all of your efforts are appreciated and mean a lot! Thank you for stepping up where other people stepped out!!!